this fateful day

It occurred to me that, on a quite regular basis over the past year or two, I have taken to believing in fate. That is, these-things-happen-for-a-reason, and whatever's-meant-to-be-will-be, and so on. And not only am I becoming a strong and fast believer in fate, but I am also accepting it. My new philosophy, as it would seem, is to watch things happen, accept them, and move on.

Today I woke up to find that both of the appointments I had this morning had been canceled. And I found myself thinking, "aha, this must mean it's time for me to work on those creative pieces I've left on the back burner." So I took my laptop over to the couch and opened my folder of unfinished prose documents. Then I paused. Why, apparently, did it take some "sign", some fluke freed-up hours in my schedule, to motivate me to do the thing I love? What have I been sitting around doing all this time?

Living in the city and working as a receptionist, I'm operating at all times in a state of reaction. Phone calls and emails come in, traffic lights change, the train comes and goes, I run out of coffee beans and paper towels and now is a good time to stock up because they are on special at the market, and we've got to see that movie before the theater gets something new, and sure I'll pick up extra hours at work because there's rent to pay and monthly internet access fees are going up.

It's as though life is a musical number with a million different tracks and I am an ear with an amateur understanding of music. I pick up on different parts and follow the track for a while - the bass line, the melody, the drum style, one of the harmonizing vocal lines - and I am amused by it and sometimes I hum along. But I never have the energy to lay down a track of my own, to create a new harmony or add a new instrument, or even just join the chorus. I'm just listening. I'm just reacting.

The idea of creating a new track, honestly, kind of scares me. I think I am afraid that I'll lose sight of the beauty of it all. I'll be so focused on perfecting my own part and blending and complementing what is there, that I won't be able to hear everything, simultaneously.

But today there was a lull, a moment when things slowed down and got quiet, and I had to fill it with something. Whether it was fate or not, it certainly gave me pause and maybe a bit of a kick-start. This fateful day is showing me that I really should get in there and join the song.

heaven right here

When I went home to visit family this holiday, my grandparents had a wonderful surprise. My grandmother, in her 88th year and feeling more tired and weak each day, had written a lively rouser of a protest song! As a Christmas present to her, my grandfather invited folk singer Larry Long to their house to put the words to music. I am thrilled and proud to say, the result was fantastic.

Here are the original lyrics (the recorded version will be included on Larry Long's forthcoming album - we'll see whether he uses the version with my grandma singing back-up):

I talked to God the other day,
And one thing God made clear
"You say you love heaven
And you want to go to heaven.
Why don't you have yourself
A heaven down here?"

"But I wanna get to heaven,
Wanna sit on a cloud,
Wanna dance and sing and laugh out loud."
"Don't be silly," the Good Lord said,
"Heaven's here and now, not when you're dead.

"Heaven's no more exploitation,
Freedom from all domination.
Heaven's the beauty of the earth,
Perfect joy in each new birth.

"So do away with corporate greed,
Give clothes and shelter to those in need.
Stop the war, feed the poor,
And we'll have a little heaven right here."
(audience: "Right here, right now!")
Yes, we'll all have heaven down here.

holiday cheer

I secretly would love to get on a soap box every once in a while, but my lowly place as a customer service representative doesn't really allow me to do this in any of my daily interactions. But, if I could, here is what I would say:

1. As privileged folks living on this planet, I would like to see the people around me show a bit more love. When you live a life as comfortable as ours, you are blessed with the ability to open your heart to other human beings and give - anything, time, money, a smile. Please consider passing one of these along.

2. Life is not a fight - for many of us, at least. I know, living in a big city where there are long lines and traffic and lots of demand for a limited supply of things, it is easy to forget that we are all just trying to survive. Don't fight it, go with it - accept the stress, rise above it, move on. Think about and celebrate what you do have - health, life, something to eat, internet access...

3. Most importantly, people, there is a war going on. Please, please, do not forget this. There is pain and conflict and suffering, and people in the thickest throes of it are finding ways to be joyful this holiday season. Let's take a step back and consider our problems in this light.

These days are blessed and short. Let's fill them with joy, not stress. Ok?

goosebumps

I think sometimes our skin likes to remind us that we are alive, and that our souls are physically linked to our bodies. Goosebumps are one of those reactions you can't control, they just happen - when you are so moved, that you can literally feel an emotion physically. It's wonderful.

(It is a fluffy-snowy day and I'm sitting in the window feeling corny. Forgive me.)

why do we do what we do?

Here is a quote from the vision statement of a friend's ideal theater company. They stole the words right out of my head, those kids!

"We live in a world that is increasingly globalised, yet increasingly divided. In times such as these, it is more important than ever to seek to illuminate and understand what makes us human, and the ties that bind across cultures, language, and experience."